Tightrope Walker

Today I began to notice this uneasy balance which I have achieved in life. I feel like a tightrope walker. I look at the depths below me and see the people and things taunting me, wanting me to fail, summoning me to the darkness which is my destiny. I look ahead and see those who love me beckoning to come to the other side. They do help me in my journey. I cannot go back, for it is shrouded in an impenetrable mist. Trying to balance, to hold on is so hard, yet the reward seems so alluring. I want to go running madly forward like a child on a balance beam, “If I run fast enough, gravity won’t be able to catch up to me and I’ll make it across just in time.” But can I really outrun this gravity that pulls me farther down with every second I stand teetering in the air? I think not. But it is not only from that direction that I must be wary, behind me fog creeps ever nearer. I know if I don’t move soon its going to take me in it. Lost in the past, a good way to fall.

I see now how hard it really is for me to try to be happy. Especially when I don’t really even know what the meaning of that word is…